Miss Indirect
#10
Date 9-11-58
Well, ole' Miss Indirect is off to school. It's a good thing that the teacher and not Mary Margaret will be asking the questions.
It takes at least five years of living with her to understand her questions. I mean, she never says just what she wants when she wants something. She starts somewhere in outer space to approach the subject, hoping an alert Mammy will come to her rescue so that she won't have to make a direct request.
Let -me illustrate. A few weeks ago we had out-of-state guests who wanted to see Muir Woods. We planned to go, leaving the children home with their grandmother. Mary caught enough of the conversation to know that we were going, but not enough to know whether she or any of the others were going along.
So she began to find out. "People don't take picnics to Muir Woods, do they?"
Because I know her methods, I ignored the Muir. It sounded like "near" and I made believe that was what she was saying. I ended up quizzing her on what near wood she was talking about. She finally gave up. It's a matter of beating her at her own game.
The Head of the House says this odd little custom of hers belongs to the female of the species. This remark is his indirectness, masculine version, aimed at you-know who. He refers, not to my indirect requests , heaven knows, I'm blunt enough in that regard! but to the way I answer questions. He insists he cannot get a straight yes or no out of me on any question. I just launch into a long speech, says he, tangled with so many ifs and buts that he cant weed out no
I could say that Mary was in a a so-called phase. However , shes been an expert at this method since she started to talk.
Boys show no such tendencies. They use the usual "gimme" and "I want" procedure.
I'm inclined to believe it's strictly a Mary Margaret habit, and we're stuck with it till she has a husband to exasperate.
But, to specify further.
When Mary wants to lick out the frosting bowl, she says, "Nobody's going to get the bowl today, are they?" This question, put to me when she was barely two, was the harbinger of the many that followed.
When I leave for the week's shopping tour, it's "You're not going to take anybody, are you?" When I get back, "You didn't buy anything for us, did you?" Besides indirect its kind of a negative approach.
Once upon a time, we visited friends and while there, she found a lovely rose on the ground. She went to the Lady of the house “look at this pretty flower that was on the ground. What are you going to do with it?”
My friend didn't guess her intentions and simply said, "Well, I can't do much with one flower, can I?"
"You're not going to give it to anybody, are you?" Mary tried again.
"No, I guess not," answered my friend."
Mary paused to think of a new line. I came to her rescue and whispered to my friend. She got the flower.
Now, maybe you would like to try one.
After Father's Day was over and done with this year, she came to me and said
"And then Boy's Day comes next, isn't that right?"
Well, I could hardly nod at that one. It broke my heart a little to tell her there was no Boy's Day. She never did ask me about Girl's Day which, you've guessed, was in her mind from the beginning. Along with a present or two. A kind of bonus Christmas nipped in the bud.
So now she's off to school, and her teacher will have a little girl asking strange questions. There's one, for sure, on the way.
Not long ago she gave me her impressions of the first grade. Besides getting the best part of the playground to play in, longer recesses and bigger balls, first graders are distinguished from kindergartners by the fact that they learn how to give puppet shows.
After the first shock of having to be a scholar wears off, she will give up everything with a sigh of resignation. Everything, that is, but the Punch and Judy course. If it doesn't show up on the curriculum by the end of the second school week, she will start in to find out whether the teacher has thought of it. How she will go about this I cannot guess.
But she will work out a series of both questions and answers. When she gets a straight answer to her roundabout questions, she will not be miffed. She will simply start over with a new series and hope the teacher gives the right answers.
If June comes without any puppet shows despite her hinting, she will still not be miffed. She will simply spend the summer working on questions for the second grade teachers. And hope for the best. |
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